1. During all police investigations, a visit to a local strip club is required.
2. All ventilation ducts of any building are perfect hiding places. Nobody thinks to look for you there and you can also travel anywhere in the building.
3. When you have to pay the taxi driver there is no need to look at your wallet. Grab a simple note at random and give it. It is always the correct amount.
4. There are no light switches for the kitchen. When you enter the kitchen at night, just open the door of the refrigerator and use it in order to bring light to your kitchen.
5. News on TV usually contain a story that affects you directly at the appropriate time.
6. A single match is enough to illuminate a room of about the size of the Wembley stadium.
7. There’s always free parking outside the building you want to visit.
8. A detective can only solve a case after having been suspended.
9. No matter how many enemies you have to fight, they will wait dancing around you until it’s their turn to fight you.
10. If you live in a haunted house, women should investigate strange noises dressed in the most provocative lingerie.
11. If you want to speak German but you don’t know how to speak. just speak English with a German accent.
12. The Eiffel Tower is seen from any window in Paris.
13. You are likely to survive in a battle during the war, unless you make the mistake to show someone a photograph for girlfriend who is waiting for you home.
14. A man will not show the slightest sign of pain when beaten mercilessly, but is torn apart when a woman cleans his wounds.
15. It’s easy to land a plane if there is someone in the control tower to instruct you.
16. The lipstick never goes out even after diving.
17. Every crashed car will always blow.
18. Medieval peasants have perfect teeth.
19. Free women have cats.
20. When you wake from a nightmare, you find yourself sitting on the bed and take deep breaths.
21. When a man shoots against 20 enemies, it is more likely to kill them all than the others to kill him.
22. When you turn off the lights and go to bed, everything in the room is still clearly visible in shades of blue.
23. Heroes never face charges for manslaughter or damage even if they blow an entire city.
24. No matter how much damage is inflicted on your spacecraft, the internal gravity never stops working.
25. Bombs have an electronic timer with big red digits.
26. Noone has to use the restroom.
27. Any computer, even in the middle of the desert, is able to enter illegally into government systems.
28. If you meet aliens, they will surely speak the same language as you.
29. All cuffs can be easily unlocked with a clip.
30. When you return from shopping from the supermarket, all you need is always in 2 brown paper bags.
31. Most laptops are strong enough to communicate aliens.
32. If you need to defuse a bomb, do not worry, just cut a wire and it will always be the right one…
33. If you are blonde and beautiful, you are likely to become an expert in nuclear physics by the age of 22.
Now back to real life…