Rules that men want women to know
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.
2. Learn to use the toilet seat. If it is attained, put it down…
3. Do not cut your hair. Never. Long hair is always more attractive than short.
4. Birthdays and anniversaries are difficult to remember…
5. If you ask a question that you do not want to get an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
6. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don’t ask “What are you thinking now?”, unless you are ready to discuss issues such as aviation, soccer, etc.
8. Sunday means sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Leave it that way.
9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we never thought about that.
10. When you need to go somewhere, everything you wear is fine. Really.
11. You have too many clothes.
12. You have too many shoes.
13. Crying is blackmail.
14. Your former boyfriend says you are an idiot.
15. Ask anything you want. Let us be clear on this: The subtle hints do not work. The vigorous hints also have no effect. Just ask it!
16. No, we do not know what day it is. We will never know. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
17. Yes, peeing while standing is more difficult. It is reasonable to fail sometimes.
18. Most men have only three pairs of shoes.
19. “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
20. Come to us with a problem only if you want us to help you solve it. This is what we do. Compassion is one reason you have friends.
21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
22. Do not rub the lamp if you do not want to get the genie.
23. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, neither do we.
24. Our relationship will never be like it was in the first two months we met.
25. Since it is OUR house, I do not understand why my stuff is always thrown in closets, attics and basements.